RubiCakes1124

I've tried to write you letters To thank you for the things about You that I love... But every sentence turns into an avalanche, A deluge of everything you are to me A list of lovely things and synonyms for how beautiful you are to me. So, here we are... I've taken the diamonds from the dirt piles of my words To shine a light on You. To say you are my everything would do no justice to those, or any, words for me. I am simply nothing without You. Effortlessly enamored, dependent to my very core My love for You may as well mark my grave. My headstone will speak tongues of congruent infatuations Of You... I breathe air in, I breathe naught but You out. I carry more of You in my heart, than the blood I feign to need to keep living... You. Are. Existence. To me. An avatar of Love incarnate Like gems held in highest regard by kings of old... Strong in spirit beyond compare Sharper in wit than the finest forged blade Lovelier in color and perfume than any field of Roses, Gardenias, or

I open my eyes to your sweet voice, I stop saying "It will be okay"... I draw a breath, yet the color fails to fill my world this time, it all Sits in differing shades of grey I start looking for things to blame: Blame you, blame me, blame the doctors, the nurses, This god-forsaken place, these four walls, the building that contains them... The others dying in the other room, the others mourning next to them, The Strychnine I swear pollutes my taste in this recycled air... But, My heart cannot. I've got nothing left. The only thing which remains, is simply your hand in mine. Your pulse feels like it fights to keep us both alive right now... You find your turn to try and comfort me. You whisper of your love for me, how it's going to be okay... How I shouldn't blame anyone, or blame God You so sweetly whisk away every thread of rage that weaves betwixt my heart and yours, Every grief, or anchored soul-crushing weight that taunts my weary heartstrings with it's Siren call into the

I wish I could blame it on my demons Or say it was just the voices in my head But every time I look into the mirror I find its the looks of my own eyes that which I dread. My lips, they then betray me It's my own voice that lays the blame My failures lay like corpses at my feet With siren calls they beguile my steps into my grave. I am my own death, My own lack of ambition or desire. I am my own solace, Finding easy to stifle my words and cries of pain. I am my own infection, Letting hate fester in my heart and in my head. When I finally find the cowardice to close my eyes to never wake again. It'll be me who I claim to blame. This was all my fault. Don't blame yourselves, I was broken from the start... Shake your heads and wonder why Wasted talent, wasted life Life too young, taken too soon Words repeated In perpetual gloom, your engine. Twilight grief your gasoline. This is the fuel that burns the away the pain, for numbed nerves are the best method Of not losing sleep again.